How Rejection Therapy Can Help Overcome Social Anxiety and Rejection Sensitivity

Rejection is something most of us try to avoid at all costs. Whether it’s not applying for a job because we fear being turned down, holding back from asking someone out, or hesitating to share an opinion, the possibility of rejection can feel paralyzing. For those struggling with social anxiety or rejection sensitivity, this fear becomes amplified—creating a cycle of avoidance, self-doubt, and missed opportunities.

One powerful approach that’s been gaining attention is Rejection Therapy—a method that flips the script by intentionally seeking out rejection as a way to desensitize ourselves to it.

What Is Rejection Therapy?

Rejection Therapy was originally created as a social game by entrepreneur Jason Comely, with the goal of helping people become more comfortable with hearing “no.” The concept is simple: for a set period of time, you deliberately put yourself in situations where rejection is likely—or at least possible.

Examples might include:

• Asking a stranger for directions even if you already know the way.

• Requesting a small discount at a coffee shop.

• Sharing your opinion in a meeting where you’d usually stay quiet.

• Inviting someone to lunch knowing they may say no.

The key is not the outcome (getting a “yes” or “no”), but building tolerance for the feelings that arise when rejection happens.

Why Rejection Therapy Helps with Social Anxiety

Social anxiety often stems from the fear of negative evaluation—worrying about what others think and assuming the worst-case scenario. By exposing yourself to rejection on purpose, you:

1. Reduce the Power of Fear
   Repeated exposure to rejection teaches your nervous system that rejection isn’t life-threatening. Over time, the emotional sting weakens, and the fear loses its grip.

2. Reframe Rejection
   Instead of viewing “no” as proof of inadequacy, you begin to see it as neutral feedback. Often, rejection has more to do with the other person’s circumstances than your worth.

3. Build Resilience
   The more you practice, the more you learn you can survive uncomfortable emotions like embarrassment, awkwardness, or disappointment. This resilience extends into other areas of life.

4. Increase Social Confidence
   Ironically, the more you risk rejection, the more opportunities you create for connection. Not every attempt results in a “no”—and you may discover that people are far more receptive than you imagined.

   Rejection Sensitivity vs. Healthy Vulnerability

   For people who are especially sensitive to rejection—often due to past trauma, attachment wounds, or a history of criticism—the idea of deliberately seeking it out may feel overwhelming. In these cases, Rejection Therapy works best when paired with self-compassion and, ideally, support from a therapist.

   It’s not about forcing yourself into distressing situations too quickly, but rather gradually building tolerance while reminding yourself that rejection does not define your worth.

Practical Tips to Try Rejection Therapy Safely

• Start Small: Begin with low-stakes situations, like asking a cashier if they offer a discount.

• Track Your Experiences: Journal about each attempt and note what feelings came up. Over time, you’ll likely see the anxiety lessen.

• Focus on Effort, Not Outcome: The goal is to practice asking, not to control whether you get a “yes.”

• Pair with Self-Soothing Techniques: Deep breathing, grounding, or affirmations can help regulate the nervous system after a rejection.

• Seek Support if Needed: A therapist can help unpack deeper fears and guide exposure at a pace that feels manageable.

Rejection is an inevitable part of life—but it doesn’t have to control you. By practicing Rejection Therapy, you can rewire your relationship with rejection, build emotional resilience, and slowly step out of the grip of social anxiety. Each “no” becomes less about personal failure and more about progress toward freedom.