Even strong relationships can feel strained when old emotional patterns start running the show. You may notice the same arguments repeating, one of you shutting down while the other pushes harder, or a growing distance that leaves you feeling more like roommates than partners.

For many couples, these moments are not just about communication. They are connected to deeper attachment needs, early relational experiences, and protective patterns learned long before this relationship began.

Whether you are navigating betrayal, feeling emotionally disconnected, or struggling to feel understood by your partner, couples therapy can help you slow down, understand what is happening beneath the surface, and begin rebuilding connection in a more secure way.

Meet Your Couples Therapist

Zoe Spears, licensed marriage and family therapist in Sawtelle, Los Angeles specializing in anxiety, trauma, attachment, and relationship issues and sees clients virtually across the state of California..

I’m Zoe Spears, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Sawtelle in Los Angeles, offering online couples therapy across California. I work with couples who feel caught in painful cycles that leave them feeling gridlocked, overwhelmed and drained and help you to find your way out.

My role is to help you understand the emotional meaning underneath conflict so you can feel regulated and secure in your relationships and move from blame and defensiveness toward curiosity, repair and deeper connection. I believe the most important part of therapy is finding a therapist who feels like a good fit for YOU, which is why I offer a free 10 min consultation as a risk-free way to see how you feel before committing to the process.

Signs It Might Be Time for Couples Therapy

Couples often reach out when they feel stuck in:

  • Arguments that escalate quickly or never feel resolved and are often re-occuring

  • Emotional distance, loneliness, or lack of intimacy

  • One partner pursuing while the other withdraws

  • Feeling triggered in ways that seem bigger than the situation itself

  • Trust ruptures or infidelity that feels hard to move through

  • A sense of “we’ve grown apart”

  • Life transitions, such as parenting, career changes, or moving that increase stress or disconnection

  • Fear of conflict that leads to silence and avoidance

  • A sense that childhood experiences or past relationships are affecting how you relate now


    You do not have to wait until things feel unfixable. Therapy can be a proactive space to understand each other more deeply and build a more secure emotional foundation

COUPLES THERAPY

Gottman-Informed Attachment-Focused Couples Therapy in Sawtelle, Los Angeles & Across California

What to Expect in Couples Therapy

We begin with a collaborative assessment process to understand your relationship history, current challenges, and individual attachment patterns.

From there, sessions may include:

  • Slowing down conflict to understand underlying attachment needs

  • Emotionally safe dialogue using Gottman-informed structure

  • Identifying recurring relational cycles and triggers

  • Repair strategies that rebuild emotional safety

  • Exercises inspired by the Gottman Sound Relationship House

  • Support for healing trust after infidelity or betrayal

  • Guidance in reconnecting emotionally and physically at a pace that feels sustainable

The goal is not to eliminate conflict but to help you feel more secure, understood, and emotionally connected even when hard conversations arise.

Book a free couples therapy consultation here
Level 2 Gottman Method trained couples therapist Zoe Spears offering evidence based relationship therapy in California

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Couple reconnecting emotionally through attachment focused Gottman informed couples therapy in California
Zoe Spears's profile on the Gottman Referral Network

  • The Gottman method has been proven to be an effective approach when working with couples backed by years of research on what makes relationships last. Through this approach you will be learning concrete applicable tools that you can start implementing immediately for lasting changes in your relationship.

  • You can expect a structured yet collaborative process that may include relationship assessments, identifying communication patterns, learning conflict management tools, and strengthening emotional connection. Sessions focus on both insight and practical skills so you can practice new ways of relating to each other in real time.

  • The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work include: building love maps, nurturing fondness and admiration, turning toward instead of away, accepting influence, solving solvable problems, managing gridlocked conflict, and creating shared meaning. Together, these principles strengthen emotional safety and long term connection.

  • Often called the Four Horsemen, these include criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and shutting down or withdrawing. These patterns can erode emotional safety over time, but therapy focuses on helping couples recognize and replace them with healthier communication and repair strategies.

  • Couples therapy after betrayal often moves through stages of stabilization, understanding the impact of the rupture, and rebuilding trust at a pace that feels emotionally safe. Therapy provides structure for difficult conversations, supports accountability, and helps partners explore underlying relational patterns while working toward repair.

  • Many couples start therapy at a breaking point in the relationship and may not be sure if they even want to continue. Part of the process of couples therapy is to explore what is keeping you in the relationship and what is causing you to consider separation if things don’t change so that we can address these together and you can get greater clarity on your goals of therapy.

  • Attachment-focused couples therapy often includes exploring emotional triggers, identifying protective responses, and strengthening secure communication. Sessions may integrate Gottman-based interventions alongside attachment work, helping partners understand each other’s inner world, reduce defensiveness, and build trust through consistent emotional responsiveness and repair.

  • Oftentimes couples are unconsciously interacting/reacting to one another through their attachment style, which can escalate and intensify relationship issues despite healthy communication tools. By understanding your attachment style you can better grasp your triggers & core needs to effectively communicate and deepen your relationship rather than create further divide.

  • Yes. Many couples benefit from exploring attachment patterns as a team. Understanding how each partner seeks closeness, safety, or space can reduce blame and increase empathy. Couples therapy creates a structured space to recognize triggers, slow down reactive cycles, and build more secure ways of connecting with each other.

  • Change starts with awareness. Together, we identify the cycle that keeps you feeling stuck, such as one partner pursuing while the other withdraws. From there, therapy focuses on helping each partner express underlying needs more clearly, respond with emotional attunement, and practice repair when conflict arises. The goal is not to change who you are, but to create new experiences of safety and responsiveness within the relationship.